For my first diary entry, I wanted to share some positivity in which I've recently discovered and finally found a way to be happy; Meditation.
A little backdrop as to where this newfound hobby of mine originated from, basically all has to do with the mental health struggles I was facing this past year. You don't necessarily need to put a label on yourself forever if you're currently experiencing similar thoughts of anxiety or negative self talk, and you can definitely be proactive in retraining your brain, but it does require a lot of work. Mental health should be taken very serious in terms of recovery when it's an issue, just like we take our physical wounds serious.
Meditation is one of those things I kept saying I would get into for years and years, but was somehow "too lazy" to do it. It actually requires work having to teach your brain to shut the fuck up at times. We don't realize how much stimulation we're surrounded by in today's age, and we really need to get back to basics and learn how to just "be". Constantly worrying and overthinking about stuff is a complete waste of life. I was having trouble in my acting class for a while, because I was all in my head, overthinking and not present in the moment. Since meditation, I've been way more relaxed on camera because I'm 100% dedicated to the character and the scene; I realized that Acting isn't acting, it's being.
Another bonus meditation has given me, is the ability to listen to my body. I love to smoke weed, but for a while when I was really depressed I was smoking way too much. Along with all the stuff I was going through this past year, it started to affect not only my mental health but my physical health. The anxiety was so bad at times I felt like my heart was going to explode, and there was so much tension in my body. Once I started balancing everything mentally with the meditation, I began to workout again, which was a passion of mine that I totally forgot about in the mess of my depression. I forgot how many hobbies and talents I have, because I was so busy punishing myself for being a "failure". Theres a reason I named this section of my blog my Diary.... I want to open up in hopes that you may not feel alone if you are struggling as well.
Out of the many benefits of meditation, I think the biggest gift it has given me is peace of mind. I am genuinely happy with where I am in life, and I finally believe in myself again. I'm not trying to preach or tell you what to do, but I truly hope each and everyone of you finds happiness like I have. You may be lucky and find someone to love you, but ultimately all we have is ourselves, and of course family at times. My point is that it's up to us to protect and love ourselves, just like when we were little our moms took care of us. We have to monitor our thoughts, habits and relationships because we are what we feed ourselves. Energy never dies and we are made up of energy. Like attracts like. Go out there and get what you want in life!
Love, Sophia xoxo